Cherubplay

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I sensed an angel, and with a soft smile, I opened the door. "Anndrea. ....are you doing alright?" I took her hand. She looked like she'd been crying. So, of course she hasn't. You idiot. But at least you're here for her.

2015-10-08 07:24:39

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Anndrea looked him in the eye, and was almost about to start crying again. "Can...can I come in?" She asked weakly.

2015-10-08 07:28:56

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"Of course." What? What's wrong? Darling, please be okay. I tugged her inside and closed the door, sitting down on the couch with her.

2015-10-08 07:30:10

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She squeezed his hand, and faced him. "You remember the woman from my memories... Sceylia?" She asked.

2015-10-08 07:32:07

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I nodded and frowned slightly. "Did you see an unpleasant one? I'm sorry for that."

2015-10-08 07:33:25

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"I didn't....well... I did....possibly." She spoke. "Seculus... she was not my girlfriend. She was my wife."

2015-10-08 07:37:28

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"....." I blinked. "....oh." Well...that was odd, but not all too unexpected. "Well, like you said, we're different people now...did you have a nice life with her?"

2015-10-08 07:38:36

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"I...saw her...Seculus....at the wake. She triggered it. She wants me to go with her."

2015-10-08 07:40:17

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Wait. "Go with you....where?"

2015-10-08 07:40:46

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"To live with her. As her wife. Like we once were."

2015-10-08 07:42:48

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I stared at her for a second before chuckling, a little hysterically. "You didn't...well, that's ridiculous, you didn't say yes, did you?"

2015-10-08 07:43:27

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"....I don't know."

2015-10-08 07:44:45

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I stopped. My face began to fall. She isn't serious. She isn't serious, is she? "..............wait.....really?.."

2015-10-08 07:45:38

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"Yes. Really. Seculus...I made a commitment to this woman, even if I just now remember it. I think....I think I need some time apart to figure this out."

2015-10-08 07:47:56

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Some....time..... "....how...much time?" I asked softly.

2015-10-08 07:48:35

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"...I do not know but...a while."

2015-10-08 07:50:17

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A while. A while is an eternity. What do I do? I could never say no so selfishly. This was for her sake. Don't cry. You'll only make her feel worse. She clearly already feels terrible about this. But not 'we need some time apart'. 'I'. 'I need some time apart'. She needed to get away. From me. "......................oh......."

2015-10-08 07:52:04

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"I am...sorry Seculus." Her voice broke. "But I am breaking up with you. For now."

2015-10-08 07:52:56

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The harshest way she could possibly put it. I take back what I said upon meeting Johanna. This. This was the most forced smile I'd ever performed. It shook, and it cracked, and I only just managed to get out "Okay. I'll...always be here. If you want me back." A lie. A blatant, cruel, fucking lie.

2015-10-08 07:55:27

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She pulled her hand away, slowly, after giving it one last squeeze. "I will... see you later Seculus." Then she left. Just like that.

2015-10-08 07:57:15

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My smile faded. ....I raised my hand. To reach out to her. Please. Please, don't do this. She was gone. I raised the other. And buried my face, as my already halved heart shattered completely, into a thousand tiny pieces that quickly melted away and dripped out through my eyes and through my fingers.

2015-10-08 07:59:21

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Home? What was that? She had no home now. The second Lance looked at her when she woke. She knew that this wasn't the place for her. And after Ren's reaction? That was the icing on the cake. Everyone /hated her./ She didn't blame them. She'd hate herself too. She already did. Now the self loathing was even worse. There was nothing good about her. How on earth. For a second. Did anyone think that? They were all right. It was like she never had an angel in the first place. The only place she could even find remote solace. Was this New York beach. No one came here. No one would ever come here to check on her. By now...no one wanted to even be near her. Once again. That was her fault. She was the one who wanted to kill everyone. She kept her hood over her head, and ignored the rest of the world. Her eyes not exposed, and her head on her knees.

2015-10-08 08:03:52

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I sat on the edge of the pier. What had I called it before? Ah yes. A long walk off a short pier. Well, now I was finally coming through on that. I swung my legs above the rushing ocean tide. I wore my makeshift replacement hug that felt more like a smother now. The pockets were full of stones, as were those of my trousers. I had as many as I could hold in my hands as well, my red-stained hands. My knife sat next to me. My arms burned in the salty air. One for every reason she left. One for worthlessness. One for abandonment. One for someone better. One for a cold, cold heart. More. And then one. And one. And one. For Ivory. For Josette. For Tassek. For Terezi. For Zane. For Ivory. For Ivory. For Ivory..... Everyone was gone. Everyone had left me. I didn't blame them. Not once did I blame them. I wasn't worth the effort to stay. I pushed people away, so much, so /stupid/, when my worst fear was being alone. Unloved. When was I ever loved? When, if she'd always harbored an unremembered love for her? When, if she couldn't even remember her love for me? When, if her love was only a lying game? Never. I just want it to end now. I want the pain to go away. The physical, I can stand, I've endured enough. The emotional...I can't feel that anymore. Or maybe I can, but it's everything, so I can't tell the difference? I don't know. I won't have to know much longer. I looked up at the stars. The sky, my one refuge. Taken from me as well. The feathers weren't growing back. I doubted they ever would. But that was okay. Very soon, everything will be much, much better, for everyone. I found Venus. The goddess of love, who cursed me with this wretched life, where all I am is a fragile heart to be taken and broken. I wish I could've stayed with Tassek. I even wish I could've stayed in the doll. But it's too late for wishes now. If wishes could do anything, I'd wish to have them all back. But that was the unlikeliest of all. There's no one left to say goodbye too. No one except the voice in my head, and, or possibly or, whoever it is I'm always talking to. Who may well be always listening. So, goodbye, torturer. Goodbye, companion. Goodbye.

I slipped into the water.

2015-10-08 08:19:10

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Everything was quiet. It was what she needed. What she focused on. For once, she needed that silence she once hated. However. The silence was broken. With a splash.

Her head jerked up. Someone else was here? It sounded like it came from the boardwalk. Hesitantly, she stood up,grabbed her shoes. and walked towards the sound. At the end of the pier, there was a knife. Wait...She recognized that knife.

....

She threw off her pullover hoodie.

And jumped in after him.

2015-10-08 08:28:39

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My arms caught fire as they were filled with seawater, but I no longer cared. It was so quiet down here. So peaceful. I could hear nothing except for the flowing lifeblood of the earth, touching every shore. No drifting thoughts. Just silence. And then darkness encroached on my vision. Silence and darkness. All I've ever wanted.

The thin, red-clad figure struggled involuntarily for a moment, stones falling and sinking from his pockets, until he went limp, moved only by the currents. His hair drifted in a brown and gold halo around his long, empty face and sad, sad, unblinking ice-chip eyes.

2015-10-08 08:35:51