Cherubplay

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"No fucking. I do not want to have to deal with having to provide sheets because someone couldn't keep it in his pants." He glared at both of them, and shifted Dave a little so that Sollux could hit him with shells and wouldn't get Eridan.

"Like I'd fuck anything while you're around." Sollux pulled a grossed out face, that Eridan mirrored. Ew.

2016-04-18 00:14:04

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Dave rolls his eyes. "The only sheets I'd be staining are yours. And I still say we should have brought a god damn bucket for that, why didn't you listen to me?" He bopped Eridan's forehead in reprimand.

2016-04-18 00:15:55

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Eridan shoved Dave off of him at that, fins purpling and flattening against his head in his embarrassment. Sollux choked on the inhale, coughing even as his cheeks stained yellow. Eridan was a few feet away from Dave by now, splashing him repeatedly. "Dave! No! I told you, no!"

2016-04-18 00:17:14

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He rose a brow at both of their reactions, shielding himself from the water with a frown. "What, why not? Trolls have like, whale-sized loads of jizz, buckets are the perfect thing to get rid of the problems. I think we would have already stained my mattress if I didn't keep the plastic on."

2016-04-18 00:25:03

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"DAVE!" Eridan covered his face, dropping under the water to hide. Last time buckets had been brought up he'd just said "hell no" and didn't give much more of an explanation than that. It was too embarrassing.

Sollux had a hand over his eyes, shaking his head rapidly. "Dude. Dude no. You should really watch what you're athking, do you have, like, no thenthe of dethenthy?!"

2016-04-18 00:26:53

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He looked utterly confused. "What's wrong with buckets? Are they like, worshiped in troll culture or something? Am I suggesting you to jizz on a god-like object or something?"

2016-04-18 00:29:52

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"Eridan, shut him up now." Eridan hauled his ass out of the water and clapped a hand over Dave's mouth, cheeks still bright purple and fins so bright they could be lightbulbs. "Dave. Remember what I said last time you brought this up?" He was shaking his head a little at him, utterly embarrassed.

"How have you not told him?"

"It didn't come up!"

"Didn't come up? Did not come up? You're telling me you've been fucking him for who knowth how long and bucketth didn't come up?!"

"He'th human! I didn't think it would need to!"

"Eridan!"

2016-04-18 00:33:41

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He furrowed his brow more. Still, he muttered a confused 'hell no?' in response to his first question.

He batted Eridan's hand away, looking suspicious. "Someone want's to clue me into what's going on or nah?"

2016-04-18 00:37:21

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"Sollux will." Eridan said immediately.

"Hell no. You're hith redmate."

"You're hith pitch."

"That doethn't mean anything!"

"Just because you're scared of commitment-"

"I am not!"

"- doesn't mean you can't tell him"

"You're such a shit-"

"That's rich coming from you!"

They're talking over the top of each other now, Sollux hissing and sparking and Eridan baring his teeth and flaring his fins.

But, as if they timed it, they turned to Dave and said. "Grubs. It means you want to have grubs."

"That's what buckets are used for."

"It meanth you want to have combined thpawn with thomeone."

2016-04-18 00:45:59

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He just blinks and his head cocks to the side as he watches them, and finally he just says, "Grubs. Like, the little baby things... what?"

How did that make sense? How did buckets mean babies? "I am way too young to be a father, just letting you know."

2016-04-18 00:48:34

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"Baby trolls, yes. Buckets are used to catch the slurry from trolls and then are handed over to a mother grub who uses that slurry to combine it and produce eggs from which the combined slurry will show features of the two trolls who filled the bucket."

"Don't athk for bucketth then." Sollux said, cheeks still yellow as fuck.

2016-04-18 00:50:57

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"Can't we just fucking throw the jizz in the drain, you're not making any sense." He shrugs, and rolls his eyes as he gets up.

2016-04-18 00:51:51

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"Buckets are symbolic." Eridan rubbed a hand over his face, sighing. "Y'know, like I hate you enough or I love you enough to want to use our slurry for grubs."

"It'th a troll thing. Jutht, no bucketth. Okay?" His cheeks were finally slowing down from the yellow parade.

2016-04-18 01:11:34

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"Yeah, I get it, it's kind of a "I'd have your fucking kids" kind of deal but without the pregnancy part. Whatever, if you people don't wanna be practical, that's your problem I guess. My problem too since I don't get laid." He sighs dramatically, kicking water at Sollux.

2016-04-18 01:15:14

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Eridan hit his forehead with his hand, sighing loudly. "I do not want my slurry to be used for grubs, okay? The less of my line there is, the better." He waded out of the water and onto the sand, walking along the water back towards the boat. "Come on. I need to get rope and no doubt you want your camera."

2016-04-18 01:17:09

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Dave shrugged, signaling for Sollux to follow as they all walk back to the boat. "I wouldn't be using it for babies, hell no. The less there are of me the better, and I don't even know if humans and trolls can breed."

2016-04-18 01:18:36

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"It's the principle of the thing. And now, most trolls don't even keep buckets."

"They've thet up a thythtem tho that there'th not an influx of grubth. You've got to apply for bucketth, and your name getth checked off onthe you hand them in."

2016-04-18 01:20:24

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"Wow. That's... kinda really fucked up. That's like china, you have to pay a fee to have more than one kid... can you even like, keep the kids? Do you get to raise them?"

2016-04-18 01:22:08

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"Who the fuck would want to raithe a grub?" Sollux gave him a weird look.

"It's not like that." Eridan explained, turning to walk backwards and look at him. "It's more like... they don't want an overdose of lowbloods or of highbloods. Too many highbloods means to much anger and frustration and rage in one place, too many lowbloods, same sort of deal but on a lot less of an anger scale. It's also for monitoring which bloodlines are healthy and which aren't. There's only me and Cronus left of the Ampora line, but I bet from his-" he gestured to Sollux, "-there's at least three varient lines and his own."

2016-04-18 01:24:41

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"Literally... like... everyone? Why would you want to have a kid and then not have anything to do with it?" He rose a brow, giving him the exact same look back.

"Huh. That's weird. Kinda cool too I guess, in a fucked up way. Trolls are pretty fucked up." He just concluded.

2016-04-18 01:29:28

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"Are you nuts? Grubs are a nightmare. Besides, trolls aren't that good at taking care of things, that's why lusii are a thing. They take care of the grubs, and then when the grubs have pupated they get handed over to some jade bloods or whatever. I suppose if you wanted to you could raise your own grubs, but you'd be hard pressed getting the rights to the eggs. No one wants to be the reason their spawn didn't live."

2016-04-18 01:31:22

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"Still, why would you think of making kids as that important if you never interact with them, that's kinda weird and fucked up in a lot of ways. Not saying I want one, but- actually lets drop this, I don't want to talk about babies."

2016-04-18 01:37:22

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"To carry on your line. To keep up the blood. You're allowed to interact with them, you just don't get to raise them." He rolled his eyes, but turned just in time to make sure he didn't trip over a rock. Skill.

"Grubth are weird anyway. But at leatht they aren't thtupid like human babieth." Sollux muttered.

2016-04-18 01:38:58

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"There are tons of other trolls out there you could do that, but you know what, I said I'm going to drop this, and I am. Who wants to play cards and get their ass beat when we're on the boat?"

2016-04-18 01:45:17

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"You wanna go jump off waterfalls or do you want to play cards?" One brow raise in his direction while Eridan stood ankle deep in the gentle rolling waves. "Your choice Dave. Cards we can play after, but we'll have to wait until tomorrow for the waterfall, unless you want to do it in the dead of night, where you really won't be able to see a thing."

2016-04-18 01:50:31