Cherubplay

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She paused for a moment, thinking over what he just said. How could she put this into words. "...Well." She began. "As Lance said...you're not quite the same...but I think of it as a different reason than how Lance puts it. Unlike him, you have a chance to make up for the wrongs that he did. /You/ have a chance to well...change, in a sense. He, on the other hand, doesn't."

2015-09-16 06:55:01

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"...so, I have to make up for the mistakes he made, and he, technically, gets off the hook?" Somehow, this didn't make me feel better. At all. Especially since I'd already screwed up whatever second chance he got.

2015-09-16 06:57:48

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"No, not necessarily. I mean...you have the freedom to be you. Do whatever you want. Be whoever you want. As for him? Well we already both know the ending to it. He's dead."

2015-09-16 06:59:58

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A shudder ran down my spine as I considered these implications on a deeper level, but she was right. I didn't /actually/ have to repent for his sins. They were his problem. And he got what he deserved. Russell might disagree, but he hadn't seen the parts of his life that I had. However.... "People are made by their experiences, though. If or when I eventually witness enough of his life that made him who he ended up being, wouldn't I..become him?"

2015-09-16 07:04:50

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"Let me answer your question with another question, but what I'm about to tell cannot leave this room." She leaned back in her chair. "When Lance was still human, he was happily married to probably one of the most beautiful women in that time, had a child on the way, a wonderful best friend, everything in life a person could ever want. But for him? It was't enough. You see, his best friend had married the person he loved, so he had an affair with her. And what did he do when his best friend found this out about it? He murdered him, then fucked his best friend's wife on top of his grave. Eventually, he was caught as well as hung, leaving his wife a widow and his two children fatherless. Now tell me, does Lance even seem like that kind of man today?"

2015-09-16 07:10:54

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I stared at her in disbelief. Lance didn't even hardly seem capable of doing something like that. "Not at all. But he's....he's /Lance/." And I'm not.

2015-09-16 07:16:22

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"And you're Seculus."

2015-09-16 07:16:37

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"Exactly. I'm not..."

2015-09-16 07:17:25

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"You're your own person. You don't have to fear becoming a monster if you don't want to be one."

2015-09-16 07:19:03

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"...but it's already in my nature." I moved my hands to my lower arms, tugging my sleeves. "Even my name, it was his pen name or something in some kind of graffiti gang. Somewhere in Manchester is a bunch of obscene vandalism with my name literally all over it. I'm already acting like him, not thinking about other people's relationships, just what I feel like doing...I don't know about a monster, but I'm certainly not an angel." This was all true. I'm not even sure it hurt to admit anymore.

2015-09-16 07:23:46

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She reached over and took one of his hands into both of hers. "Don't say that about yourself. You're trying. I know you are. I've met a lot of angels, and a lot of devils, and if there is anything, /anything/, that I've found about it, is that not everything is in clear black and white. Opinions change. People change. Ideas change. Everything. Changes. And say you start heading down his path? I'll be there to pull you out of that mess and onto a better path. You know that. "

2015-09-16 07:28:23

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I looked at her. I did know she would try. I didn't know about succeeding, but she'd definitely try. And according to her, that was what mattered. Maybe I'd change out of this useless me soon, too. I prevented myself from kissing her again in favor of squeezing her hands. "I do hope you're right."

2015-09-16 07:38:38

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"I know I'm right. Now smile." She squeezed his hand back. "You learned how to look a little more human. I think that is a great accomplishment."

2015-09-16 07:40:41

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"I suppose. I can go back to work now. ....do I have to if it's forced?"

2015-09-16 07:42:52

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"I say take all the time you need, but Tassek might say otherwise. Then again, I could always threaten him. It seemed to work last time...for five seconds. That's an improvement, right?"

2015-09-16 07:44:00

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"Ten, actually. And yes. Though another option is to do something to make him fall asleep."

2015-09-16 07:49:17

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"That's even easier. I'll show him some of my horror games and he'll be passed out in no time!"

2015-09-16 07:50:11

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"That isn't likely to work. He was practicing with some himself for a while, and he's mostly immune to jumpscares now, at least."

2015-09-16 07:51:41

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"I don't even like jump scare games. Here, let me show you what I have." She turned to her computer and closed the word document she was working on.

2015-09-16 07:53:05

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I glanced at the background and blushed a bit. "Um, why -- ?!"

2015-09-16 07:54:10

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"Hmmm?" She then realized what he was referring to. "OH! I've had it for years, never bothered to change it. I think its pretty in its own way."

2015-09-16 07:56:13

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"...I mean, I guess the art is...nice..?...But the content...um..."

2015-09-16 07:56:56

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"It's not for everyone, I know. Just go ahead and say it."

2015-09-16 07:58:03

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"....well, it /is/ a nearly naked woman, but I suppose it is your own personal computer, so I have no right to judge, or comment, so, um, carry on."

2015-09-16 07:59:14

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"Well I guess it comes with the territory of having a gay friend. You see their weird backgrounds." She double clicked on the folder she kept for her games. "Anyway, here we are. Anything sound familiar to you?"

2015-09-16 08:01:30