Cherubplay

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"So since God and Satan decided to make an appearance."

2015-10-26 10:21:56

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"........sure. Yeah." I stared at it, pale. Somehow all my fingers could still move, if not with the same flexibility, but that didn't make it any less terrifying.

2015-10-26 10:23:10

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She let out a breath. "This is why I don't like them. Obviously you did 'something wrong' in their eyes." She put air quotes over 'something wrong.'

2015-10-26 10:24:29

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....of course I did. I get it now. They said I was supposed to learn a lesson. Probably just how little anyone cares and how justified they are in doing so. There's too many fuck-ups to even pin any particular one down. I buried my head in my hands, hand, I doubt it even still counts, and silently cried, shoulders shaking a little. So this is my punishment, as if I didn't already get the fucking point. There's no way I can make it stop, then. Not if they want me to learn my 'lesson'.

2015-10-26 10:27:42

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"They...did the same thing to Lance when he first became an angel...well, not exactly /this/ but...something just as terrible."

2015-10-26 10:29:09

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I doubt it. I seriously doubt it. Not having a name is easily fixable with enough imagination. No amount of creativeness is going to help me now. No one else is either.

2015-10-26 10:30:30

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"....I'm sorry that you have to go through this."

2015-10-26 10:32:37

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No she's not. "Why won't anyone help me?" I mumbled through my tears and rattling fingers.

2015-10-26 10:35:10

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She slowly moved to his side. "I think it's a matter of no one knows how to."

2015-10-26 10:37:11

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"No, no one /cares/." My nose didn't grow and I cried a little harder. I'm so scared. Why do I have to be alone for this?

2015-10-26 10:38:13

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Another sigh. "Look, do I feel really upset over the shit you've done in the past? Yes. Could you be forgiven for it? Maybe not. But does that mean I want you to go through this and possibly die? /No./ I think there's been enough bloodshed for the year."

2015-10-26 10:40:11

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I know. I know, I fucking suck. I deserve this. Is death a possibility too? This is /not helping/. It probably isn't even meant to. Fuck you, Ivory, right when I thought you /might've/ been just a little concerned.

2015-10-26 10:42:54

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She went quiet. Well, there went all she could say.

2015-10-26 10:45:28

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"................great to know you don't feel like digging another fucking /grave/..." If I'm going to cry anywhere, it should be in a room by myself where someone I was starting to care about isn't telling me I'm an irredeemable shit. I rubbed my eyes, not raising my head.

2015-10-26 10:47:32

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"That's not what I meant."

2015-10-26 10:48:04

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".../so what did you mean/? You're looking /forward/ to digging it?!"

2015-10-26 10:49:05

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"I meant that this is a fucking /cruel/ 'punishment' for what you've done."

2015-10-26 10:49:33

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"Liar."

2015-10-26 10:51:34

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"...Then what the /FUCK/ do you want me to say, Madison! That I forgive you /just like that/ for showing kindness /ONCE?!/ THAT I'M SORRY THAT I DON'T LIKE JUST OPENING UP TO PEOPLE? OR THAT I CAN'T EVEN WHEN I WANT TO?! YES, REDEMPTION IS A /FUCKING BURDEN/. DOES THAT MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD JUST DIE?! ABSOLUTELY NOT! OH LOOK! IVORY DOESN'T HAVE A DEATH WISH FOR EVERYONE AROUND HER! WHO FUCKING KNEW?!" As she spoke, the ice grew. Over her neck, down bother her arms, and slowly made its way down her chest.

2015-10-26 10:58:51

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I shrank away from her, falling off the counter. /Jesus/. "IF I CAN'T SAY I'M SORRY ENOUGH AND NO ONE LETS ME DO ANYTHING NICE, WHAT DO YOU WANT /ME/ TO DO?! I TRIED TO REDEEM MYSELF, IT JUST MAKES IT WORSE! NO ONE WANTS ME TO! AT THIS POINT DEATH ALMOST SEEMS LIKE THE BETTER OPTION BECAUSE THEN EVERYONE WOULD STOP TREATING ME LIKE THE SHIT I AM!! I DIDN'T /THINK/ YOU HAD A DEATH WISH FOR EVERYONE, YOU CARE ABOUT PEOPLE MORE THAN WHAT'S PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE, I THOUGHT YOU HAD A DEATH WISH FOR ME BECAUSE /EVERYONE ELSE DOES/! AND THE SECOND I JOIN IN THE FUN IT MAKES IT WORSE, LOOK AT YOURSELF! I WANT TO HELP BUT IT'D PISS YOU OFF! /HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY I'M SORRY BEFORE I JUST GIVE UP/?!"

2015-10-26 11:09:24

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"BECAUSE SAYING SORRY DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME WHEN I KNOW YOU LIE TOO MUCH! YOU'VE LITERALLY HELPED A WOMAN WHO HAS DONE NOTHING BUT GET ME THROWN IN THE HOSPITAL! AND /WHY/ THE FUCK WOULD I HAVE A DEATH WISH FOR YOU, WHEN I DON'T EVEN MY BEST FRIEND DEAD?! WHEN I DON'T EVEN WANT /ME/ DEAD! YOU THINK THIS IS FUN?! YOU THINK I JUST ASKED FOR THIS?! I WAS /MURDERED/ MADISON. WHY WOULD I WANT THAT UPON SOMEONE ELSE!"

2015-10-26 11:14:16

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"WHAT DOES MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU THEN?! BECAUSE NOTHING! I DO! HELPS! BECAUSE I'M APPARENTLY NOT A HUMAN BEING WITH FEELINGS WHO GETS LONELY BY BEING SHUNNED BY EVERYONE AND CAN BE EXCUSED FOR TRYING TOO HARD TO GET PEOPLE TO THINK THERE MIGHT BE A REASON TO LIKE ME! I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SO FUCKING SORRY, YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY TELL ME I'M LYING!"

2015-10-26 11:18:52

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The ice stopped at her hands, and began to spread to the counter she gripped. She started to shiver and tremble. Okay, maybe this ice was starting to become a little too much for her. "Because at this point, your /words/ mean nothing. You need to /do/ something, or else no one will take your word for it."

2015-10-26 11:22:49

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Holy shit. Holy shit. "There's nothing I can /do/. I'm useless except for how much I talk, there's nothing I can....." I shoved myself to my feet, wooden hand almost slipping out from underneath me.

2015-10-26 11:25:56

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"Then looks like you have a lot work cut out for you....Hnnn...." She gasped and clutched her stomach as the ice spread down her torso.

2015-10-26 11:27:42