Cherubplay

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"God damn, Ivory no. You're the only non-binary babe we have in this family." Spencer chuckled.

"Well too bad. We have two non-binary babes now, and you will treat them like the babe they are. Please don't hack his flight schedule, Lance might blame me for it. We're playing World Of Warcraft, by the way. Horde side. I believe you have a character on the same server as we do?"

"Oh, please. The only thing that man will ever blame you for is for not coming into his life sooner." Vincent responded.

"Miss Piggy is in hell and she licks more than just my computer."

"/Xzavier./"

"What I can't make a sex joke to them?" Xzavier's voice was normal now.

2015-08-30 23:01:43

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On their end, they were a bit red. Okay, so they'd basically set themselves up for that. "Nope. You can't. And yes, hold on." They loaded WoW and brought up their female Pandaren rogue, Yashoku.

2015-08-30 23:07:21

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"Alright. Where are you? I'm in the Undercity. Look for Tantibusvidens." There was a slight accent in her voice as she spoke the latin.

"Hurry please. I need help!" Vincent whined once more

"Get Spencer to help you while I look for Ren."

"Spennnnccceerrr?"

"Nah."

"...Xzavier?"

"Depends on whar you're doing."

"Killing alliance players."

"SIGN ME THE FUCK UP" His kermit voice was back. "I'll be right there you pictured piece of ass."

2015-08-30 23:17:51

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"On the way. Hey, can you do Scooby-Doo too?" They moved through the Undercity, trying to resist pointlessly attacking other players. "What's your race?"

2015-08-30 23:27:42

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"Fuck Scooby-Doo. Kermit the frog will forever be my vice." Xzavier thought for a moment. "Though I need to find a Kermit costume to harass the innocent with."

"Blood Elf. Warlock if you need my class as well."

"I added a new member to the guild. Speaking of which. Since you know Lance. Are you angel, devil, vampire, or am I crazy?" Spencer asked

"I'm guessing crazy."

"FUCK YOU VINCENT!"

2015-08-30 23:34:02

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They giggled. "We're both crazy."

2015-08-30 23:35:50

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"You're not crazy, I am. Ren's human."

"...Ivory that is bullshit. Fix that right now. No humans allowed. Ever." Vincent frowned from his end.

"Just like how I wasn't allowed? Too bad. They're staying." Ivory then turned her character around. "Is that you Ren? Can you see my just jumping into the green water." She then proceeded to make her character jump off a bridge.

"I think it's a good idea." Spencer spoke up.

"You thought adding Brielle in here was a good idea too." Xzavier countered

"Fuck Brielle." Ivory and Spencer snapped both at the same time.

2015-08-30 23:41:35

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"That's a bit biased. Aw, and you had so much to live --" They cut off in surprise at the concurrence of hate for Brielle. "......." Silently, they moved Yashoku towards the edge of the water. So these guys had met her too? They wondered what reason they had for hating her. They didn't know/give a shit about her hurting Ren, so what had she done to Ivory? Whatever it was, Ren was going to hate her even more for it.

2015-08-30 23:48:06

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Quickly, Ivory changed the topic. Off her. We're having fun. "Fuck. Ren" She tried to jump up but her character wouldn't quite make it to the edge. "I can't up. Here, join this." She sent Ren a guild invite.

"Okay Vincent where are you?" Xzavier asked.

"Goldshire."

"Sweet mother of Jesus how in the hell did you get there?!" Xzavier shouted in his kermit voice.

Silence from Spencer's end as he typed to someone.

2015-08-30 23:52:43

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"'Kay." They accepted the invite. "Need a hand?"

2015-08-30 23:55:16

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"Yes. Just a second. Prepared for people to be jealous of you." She then moved him for the lowest rank in the guild roster to second in command, immediately the guild chat was filled with endless 'What?!' "You're welcome."

"Someone might be joining us." Spencer spoke before typing again.

"What, your girlfriend? Xzavier it's called not being you and not running straight into large groups of people."

"Actually I dumped my girlfriend. She said she didn't like how I spent time with Ivory."

"Good choice my friend. Let the dark lord Satan fill your soul" Kermit the frog was obviously still here.

2015-08-30 23:59:57

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"Also preparing for half the server to try and kill me. Good thing I have stealth. Thanks! Hey, cut that out, she's not Satan. Come over here, there's a ramp." They went over to the ramp and hopped up and down a couple of times before stopping so they wouldn't attract attention from angry guild members.

2015-08-31 00:05:16

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"Yes she is. Ask Cameron." Xzavier's voice went normal.

"So far, but okay." She swam over and climbed out of the water.

"Cameron thinks everyone is Satan." Vincent retorted.

"Here he is!" Spencer added someone by the name 'No Dameien, You're a piece of shit.'.

"Eyyyyyy lmao" Eilliot greeted the skype call.

2015-08-31 00:10:17

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They burst out laughing at Eilliot's username and muffled it by burying their head in their arms on the keyboard, shoulders shaking as their character went into small spasms.

2015-08-31 00:12:52

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Spencer paused. "What's so funny?"

"Oh hi Ren! I didn't expect to see you here."

"Well they just got promoted so." Ivory spoke up.

"Wait... /you're/ the one who goes by Lucifer. As in. Lucifer is a female. The great Luci...is a girl?"

"Yes."

"I've heard a great deal about you from the guild. Best warlock?"

"You know it."

"I like him already. We're keeping him." Vincent smiled.

"Fuck. But /I'm/ the meme king." Xzavier whined.

2015-08-31 00:16:31

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They caught their breath. "Hi Eilliiiiiee! Well, you can't see me, buuuut.... Oh, Ivory, you're legendary? Wow! No, Mr. The Frog, you've been outmemed."

2015-08-31 00:20:47

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"Wait. /You're Ivory?/"

"Yes."

"I've heard more about you from Spyders and Dameien."

"Fuck them both." Ivory frowned. "I'll summon a demon upon their houses."

"What? Did they hurt you?" Spencer seemed suddenly concerned.

"No. Just Dameien is an asshole, and Spyders didn't understand the word no until I said for him to get the fuck out."

"...can I murder him?" Vincent asked.

"No. Not yet. He hasn't returned since then."

2015-08-31 00:25:04

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"I'll help, Vincy. I know where he lives." They were grinning behind their avatar.

2015-08-31 00:27:48

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"Wait really?! Why didn't you say so? Lets go my pal!"

"No, wait. Don't murder him. Vincent please don't go to prison again."

"THAT WAS ONE TIME, OKAY?! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DRIVE DRUNK AND HIT A TREE"

"You were /drunk./" Spencer commented.

"Well this seems like a nice little family. So Ren, you found yourself a new partner already? Ivory is a good match for you."

Now it was Ivory's turn to laugh, face on the spacebar.

2015-08-31 00:33:17

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He'd gone to prison too? Wait, what did... They turned red. "I'm not -- it isn't -- Eillie!"

2015-08-31 00:36:04

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"Nope, it's official now. You two are dating!" Spencer joined in.

"But I'm already in a relationship." Ivory added.

"With Ren." Vincent teased.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now bang for six nights." Xzavier spoke in his kermit voice. "Wait, hold on I got the perfect thing for this." There was the sound of him shuffling out of his chair.

2015-08-31 00:40:03

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"We aren't -- CUT IT OUT!" They were flushed scarlet now and tears were welling up, but no one could see it. They loved Ivory, but the thought of dating her, much less.....what, banging for six nights, ew, scared them. If there was a breakup, which was inevitable with Ren, they were too clingy after all, any semblance of a friendship would be too awkward, would be ruined. She wouldn't be able to talk to them. They didn't want that. Then they'd be all alone again. Then they processed what she'd said. "Wait, you and Zane finally got together for real??"

2015-08-31 01:29:05

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"Awe we were just teasing." Eilliot frowned.

"Well they said stop. So stop. Yes, yes we did. Very recently we did."

2015-08-31 01:33:00

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They quieted down again. And tried to focus only on Ivory. "That's great! Right around Valentine's Day, huh? Did he do something special?"

2015-08-31 01:38:36

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"Mhmm. He watched Twilight with me and gave me a rose. It's in water right now."

There was sound of Xzavier returning, and something hitting the table. "In honor of Ren and Ivory dating I'm going to eat this entire jar of honey in two minutes."

"Xzavier that's no-" She was cut off.

"TOO LATE!" He turned on his webcam and started to attempt to drink the jar, which mostly just ended up around his mouth and not in it. "Fuck." using his hands, he now began to ate like winnie the pooh would.

2015-08-31 01:42:16