Cherubplay

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I burst out laughing. Truck? Truck me? Tempting, but no. "Cuz I need to know it for sure if I'm going to spread the joke. Spyders got wast-ed!"

2015-08-08 08:19:56

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He rolled his eyes. "Like anyone'll believe you. 'specially those who matter."

2015-08-08 08:21:23

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"Anyone'll believe a guy with....phooooto evidence!" I whipped out the cheap phone I'd bought with my paycheck recently and snapped a few pictures of him next to the bottle, the flash acting as a makeshift stun grenade in the dark room. Hey, I'll keep that in mind.

2015-08-08 08:24:22

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He hissed and covered his eyes like a well, stereotypical vampire. "Truck you! Mother-fuckin'." Gah. Think. "It's not like Ivory'll care anyway. She took care of bloodbath when he was shit-faced!"

2015-08-08 08:26:41

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"Yeah, but she actually likes him. Besides, he didn't get him drunk, /I/ got him drunk. This is all on you, bud."

2015-08-08 08:28:53

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Another eye roll. "You only /think/ she likes 'em cause you haven't been there."

2015-08-08 08:29:39

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"Nope, don't hafta. Even from a distance it's obvious."

2015-08-08 08:32:10

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"So you fuckin' think. You can' even get your girl to admit she likes you"

2015-08-08 08:32:44

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"Dude, that's just creepy. I don't yammer about that, do you spy on me or something?"

2015-08-08 08:34:23

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"The lipstick marks get obvious, bud. 'Specially bright red."

2015-08-08 08:35:19

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"And what part of that says 'not interested'?" I grinned, teeth luminous in the light of the tv.

2015-08-08 08:35:54

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"The fact that she's not out." He grinned as well. "/I/ on the other hand." He held up his other hand. "Can easily get Ivory to love meeee. Just watch."

2015-08-08 08:37:04

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"That's cause she doesn't want to give up control of a vampire, not even for li'l ol' me." I jerked a thumb at my chest. "Oh, sure, the way you're going that'll /totally/ happen, yeah, keep trying, I need a laugh."

2015-08-08 08:40:33

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"Sure. You keep thinkin' that." He reached over and grabbed the bottle once more and tried to take a drink before realizing it was empty, then frowned.

2015-08-08 08:42:45

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I snorted. "Totally smashed. You gonna try and fuck the fridge too?"

2015-08-08 08:45:31

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" Merde you." Now he was slurring in French too. "I don' see you getting laid anytime soon."

2015-08-08 08:49:16

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"/What/ me? Merde? D'you mean murder? That's just 'cause if I tried, pretty boy and twiggy would both gang up to rip my head off."

2015-08-08 08:52:04

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" Learn French you fuckin' slaveowner." Not funny. France was a wonderful place. "I'd kill you too if you'd hurt my 'rezi."

2015-08-08 08:53:43

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"No way. Why should I when all you nerds speak English perfectly well? Okay, so it'd be 1 v 3, I can deal with that."

2015-08-08 08:56:05

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"Mhmmm. Cause that'll work sooooo well."

2015-08-08 08:57:14

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"I've got the advantage of strategy and a blindingly handsome face to distract the opposition with."

2015-08-08 08:58:00

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He almost fell over form laughter. "Handsome? Lipstick on a pig is still a pig."

2015-08-08 08:59:02

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I chucked my now-empty bottle at his head. "Fuck off, detergent-head."

2015-08-08 09:00:17

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He ducked and fell to the floor. "I'm a natural blonde, dumbass."

2015-08-08 09:01:07

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"So you decided to fuck with the natural order of things? Great plan, just shave your head then and let it all grow back."

2015-08-08 09:01:53